“I bought a microwave at a mini mall. I bought a mini van in a mega store.
I eat fast food in the slow lane.
I’m toll free, bite sized, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes.
A fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven,
Scientifically formulated medical miracle.
I’ve been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened,
pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried,
double-wrapped, vacuum-packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity.
I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean.
Cocked, locked and ready to rock.” -George Carlin