What the hell, I have contracted some kind of sinus horror that is robbing me of jam. Well, figuratively speaking, it is robbing me of jam. For in the literal sense, there are considerable quantities of jam-like substances issuing from my cranium through my nose holes. It could be brain. It could be lemon curd gone spectacularly bad. It could just be some sort of toxic mucous that if accidentally stepped in could cure warts. While the jury is out on the composition of this buttery nasal cack, I’ve resigned myself to the solace of a lethargy that requires two hour snoozes and a great deal of PVR’d crap. Wish me luck. I may not survive.

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