“Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.”
-David Letterman

His 500px site

 

 

“The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.”
-Don Marquis

Gallery

 

 

“And this I have learned grown-ups do not know the language of shadows.”
-Opal Whiteley

His Website

 

 

“Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.” -Sloane Crosley

His Website

 

 

“What’s one more torpedo in a sinking ship?” -Lynn Dickey

Her Saatchi site

 

 

“The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.” -Elizabeth Taylor

His Website

 

 

“If you’re a fish, and you want to be a fish stick, you must have very good posture.”
-Mitch Hedberg

His Website

 

 

“No man ever listened himself out of a job.” -Calvin Coolidge

His Saatchi site

 

 

“Do not worry about avoiding temptation; as you grow older it will avoid you.”
-Joey Adams

His Website

 

 

“Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?” -Spike Milligan

His Saatchi site